Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Time to fess up...
My art is changing and I don't know if it is good objectively seen, but to me it seems to be getting really good. Different than before with more depth or something -- hard to put into words.
All my life, I have had real difficulties being really good at something. I'm so comfortable not standing out in any way (actually, in my younger years I consciously practiced blending in and it has sort of stuck with me), that when something starts happening that might make me stand out, I immediately get paralyzed.
I know it makes no sense and logically I am aware of it all and I know just what I need to do, but emotionally it's a whole different story. It's that old notion of fitting in, of not making waves, and of trying so hard to be "normal."
And, believe me, I KNOW that being "normal" is highly overrated, I KNOW that there's nothing else but to be "me", but how to know it emotionally? How do you make that leap from knowing something in your head to knowing it with your whole being? I am hoping at least one of you knows what I am talking about...
So, are you?!?