Saturday, August 6, 2011


I recently noticed that my blog has become somewhat drab since I started working in graphite and charcoal, so today I "stole" some of my sister's garden photos she shared with me for all of you to enjoy while I ramble on for a bit...
So much has been going through my mind lately, which is part of the reason my blog has been a little more quiet. Part of it is because I'm spending more time on art and other things, but partly it's because I can feel things changing. Do you ever get that feeling? Everything seems the same, yet you can tell that change is coming. Sometimes it's exciting and sometimes it's scary.
This time around for me it feel exciting and I can tell this change is not so much on the outside, but on the inside. In my outer life, everything is calm and fun and "normal" (whatever that means).
But inside of me, everything is shifting, which means that some things are shifting more into the background and others are suddenly out in the light. I'm seeing a part of me I didn't know was there. Or maybe I did, but I had forgotten.
Not me as the student (that part I know well, being the perpetual student that I am), but me as an artist, a full-time "serious" artist.
Suddenly I am having dreams of learning how to paint with oils and learning to draw from life - people and still lifes. Next quarter I am taking an etching class, something I never thought I would do.
So, the REAL surprise is not that this is happening (it happens to lots of people all the time), but that this is happening to me in my 40s. I always thought you find out what you are good at in your childhood and teens, and whatever talents aren't discovered then, you don't have them.
But here I am, in my 40s taking classes with a bunch of kids in their 20s (some only 19!) and having a ball!! And actually learning quite a bit from them!
And then there are the funny moments... It used to be that people would tell me something that happened to them in 1966 and I'd say: "Oh, that's the year I was born." Now that is happening to me! One of my classmates asked me when I first came to the US and when I said in 1985, he said: "Oh, that's the year I was born."
That could make me feel old and out of place, but it doesn't. I just LOVE that we can discover whole new worlds inside ourselves at any age. Not just a new hobby, but something that consumes us and gives our lives a whole new dimension!
Having this happen now carries such an immense freedom with it to simply enjoy, no matter what happens. Had I discovered art when I was younger, I would have had to prove myself and maybe even to make a living with it, to have it become a profession.
Now, I can explore this without any pressure and whatever will come of it will be perfect! Because I'm a different person - I love my life, I love myself, I've stopped comparing myself to others and I have shed many of my insecurities.
Most of all, I've learned to listen to my inner voice! Not much that's more important than that...
Thanks for indulging my ramblings this morning... They've been happening in my head, and now it's good to share them with you. 

Who knows, you may have had experiences that are quite similar. You know, that's why I love this blog community with have - so many shared experiences! 

As always, I am so grateful for your visits and comments!! This weekend I will make the rounds to some of  your blogs to see what you've been up to! 

But first, of course, I have to go to school to draw! On Tuesday (the deadline is looming large!), I'll be able to share my graphite drawing with you. 


  1. Love the post Silke!
    Yes, I am shifting internally too---things that seemed important are being pushed aside, though mine is a little uncomfortable at the moment (as large change always is for me) but I know that whatever the outcome, I will roll with it.
    I think a woman should reinvent herself every ten years; I still stand by that. It keeps life RICH.
    And I think you are in exceptionally rich fertile ground at the moment and are growing so well!
    GO! GO! GO!


  2. Hi Silke....I love your amazing garden bloom photos by your sister.......they are gorgeous!!!! I have been having those same strange feelings....I find I think a lot at night about a funny feeling that things are changing....I am open to it and I always try to focus on things that make me happy.....

    I always love seeing what you are up to and feeling Silke....we are all here together...and it is always nice to have friends around!!!!

    Have a great weekend!!

  3. I can SO relate to all that you are feeling and going through! I, too, was born in '66 and I went back to get my college degree (in art) when I was 41! I just graduated this past May just as I turned 45 :). I am not sorry for waiting, though it had it's challenges, I appreciated it all so much more! All my best to you, Silke,on this journey, I feel we would have so much to chat about over a cup of coffee! I hope we will meet one day :) xokp

  4. I loved my forties--but the best is yet to come--in my fifties I felt so powerful, so sure of who I was and where i was going. i went back to school in my mid forties and it was a wonderful, opening time! Enjoy the ride!!

  5. I've noticed that a lot of women really seem to come into their own after reaching age 40. In fact, the other day I mentioned this to a coaching client of mine who is 50 and on the verge of making significant life changes. There is an energy shift that can happen in midlife that, I believe, leads to a more fulfilling, joyous life. So glad this is happening to you!

  6. Hallo Silke, ich finde es immer spannend neue Dinge zu erfahren und zu lernen. Das bereichert unser Leben doch sehr. Gut ist es, dass wir die Möglichkeit haben uns zu entwickeln und neue Lebenskonzepte zu erproben. Deshalb - viel Glück und Erfolg beim "Tun". Liebe Grüße, Inge

  7. Such lovely pics, dear! I love these colorful flowers, I can almost smell them :-) kss!

  8. oh i know that feeling ... so happy you are embracing it and i love hearing about the classes you are taking with the 20 year olds and 19!!! SO FUN!!!

    i love your ramblings ... love your images intertwined.

    sending love as you go through this transitional time and always!


  9. this is a joy to read, silke. there is a whole world inside you and it is coming forth in so much creativity and confidence. jubilance!!!!

  10. I think we have very many facets - and we can keep discovering something new about ourselves all our lives. Wishing you much joy as you go through changes.

  11. you made my day!!!
    have a happy Sunday!!


  12. Liebe silke,
    ich hatte ja einiges nachzulesen bei dir nach ein paar Tagen Blogabstinenz.
    Ich höre auch mehr und mehr auf meine innere Stimme.
    Wünsche dir noch einen schönen Restsonntag.
    LG Sabine

  13. Loved your ramblings, I hope you find joy in the changes that are taking place for you-you deserve so much.

  14. I am so glad that you share your thoughts and feelings, Silke. It is reassuring to hear others express things that we've felt, to know we are not alone in our questions, our fears, our joys, and changes.
    You are becoming even more beautiful in all ways, inwardly, as well as on the outside.
    ♥ audrey

  15. Great ramblings and thanks for sharing. There is something about the forties where you feel a bit more comfortable in your own skin and it is a grand adventure as long as you are able to embrace change and growth.

  16. I'm so excited for you, Silke! This is a wonderful and inspiring post. Good luck with all of your classes. I'm happy to have found my way back here. *Hugs*

  17. it's all so very exciting silke, there is so much truth in what beth has said. enjoy your every moment dear.

  18. Positively beautiful flowers, Silke! xo Diane

  19. Thank you, thank you, thank you all for your comments and encouragement and your own stories. I always love seeing how much we have in common and how so many of us are on similar paths!! Much love to you all!! Silke

  20. Beautiful yarns in your new post but I wanted to comment on this one cuz I like it so much.

    I love how you inter-twined your "ramblings" with those gorgeous photos. I also love the ramblings themselves, oh, and I also love you! You are blooming right along with these flowers, and just as beautifully. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

    Happy healing. You've got the good vibes going, at any rate. ;-)


  21. Liebe Silke, freue mich, was du aus den Bildern gemacht hast.