Ramblings...

I recently noticed that my blog has become somewhat drab since I started working in graphite and charcoal, so today I "stole" some of my sister's garden photos she shared with me for all of you to enjoy while I ramble on for a bit...

So much has been going through my mind lately, which is part of the reason my blog has been a little more quiet. Part of it is because I'm spending more time on art and other things, but partly it's because I can feel things changing. Do you ever get that feeling? Everything seems the same, yet you can tell that change is coming. Sometimes it's exciting and sometimes it's scary.

This time around for me it feel exciting and I can tell this change is not so much on the outside, but on the inside. In my outer life, everything is calm and fun and "normal" (whatever that means).

But inside of me, everything is shifting, which means that some things are shifting more into the background and others are suddenly out in the light. I'm seeing a part of me I didn't know was there. Or maybe I did, but I had forgotten.

Not me as the student (that part I know well, being the perpetual student that I am), but me as an artist, a full-time "serious" artist.

Suddenly I am having dreams of learning how to paint with oils and learning to draw from life - people and still lifes. Next quarter I am taking an etching class, something I never thought I would do.

So, the REAL surprise is not that this is happening (it happens to lots of people all the time), but that this is happening to me in my 40s. I always thought you find out what you are good at in your childhood and teens, and whatever talents aren't discovered then, you don't have them.

But here I am, in my 40s taking classes with a bunch of kids in their 20s (some only 19!) and having a ball!! And actually learning quite a bit from them!

And then there are the funny moments... It used to be that people would tell me something that happened to them in 1966 and I'd say: "Oh, that's the year I was born." Now that is happening to me! One of my classmates asked me when I first came to the US and when I said in 1985, he said: "Oh, that's the year I was born."

That could make me feel old and out of place, but it doesn't. I just LOVE that we can discover whole new worlds inside ourselves at any age. Not just a new hobby, but something that consumes us and gives our lives a whole new dimension!

Having this happen now carries such an immense freedom with it to simply enjoy, no matter what happens. Had I discovered art when I was younger, I would have had to prove myself and maybe even to make a living with it, to have it become a profession.

Now, I can explore this without any pressure and whatever will come of it will be perfect! Because I'm a different person - I love my life, I love myself, I've stopped comparing myself to others and I have shed many of my insecurities.

Most of all, I've learned to listen to my inner voice! Not much that's more important than that...

Thanks for indulging my ramblings this morning... They've been happening in my head, and now it's good to share them with you. 

Who knows, you may have had experiences that are quite similar. You know, that's why I love this blog community with have - so many shared experiences! 

As always, I am so grateful for your visits and comments!! This weekend I will make the rounds to some of  your blogs to see what you've been up to! 

But first, of course, I have to go to school to draw! On Tuesday (the deadline is looming large!), I'll be able to share my graphite drawing with you.