Sunday, January 26, 2014

The Things We Hang On To

The other day I was looking for some photos Daniel needed. I went through our three photo bins and didn't find them. Then I went through the closet in my studio and took out everything. Still no photos.
Well then I continued on the cleaning spree upstairs. I went through my art supplies and weeded out everything old that didn't work anymore, little snippets of paper I was never going to use, pens that were dried up, etc. And then on to the book shelves and I sorted out many books I will never read again and will take to the thrift store.
I kept thinking repeatedly: "I can't believe I've been hanging on to this for so many years." And then it occurred to me that really, it's the internal things I hang on to that wreak havoc in my life.
For example, all through my life people have made innocuous comments to me about some aspect about myself that I am sure they forgot about after a few minutes, but I internalized them and still carry them with me.
Many people just shake these things off, but I wasn't that kind of girl. I was extremely sensitive and I took everything to heart. And for many years I believed others' opinions of who I was over my own. I was very insecure.
Even though I've grown out of that and gotten to know myself, I realize that I still carry some of that old stuff with me.
And now I'm finding that I have to revise some of those old beliefs. A teacher told me that I wasn't good at art, that I wasn't creative and I believed it. Another teacher told me that writing was not my thing and I believed that as well.
I used to believe that I was messy and never finished anything I started. I'm starting to think that that's not true at all anymore.
I used to be convinced that I never stuck with anything. When I was writing my last post, I realized that I've been blogging regularly for five years. And that I've been painting for five years - with no end in sight! Add to that that I've been married for nearly 25 years and I think that view of myself is not accurate at all!
All photos were taken on our walk this morning. It was beautiful!! 
Maybe it's time to let go of the things I hang on to, some of the physical ones and the internal ones. Time to make space for the new!

Wishing you a fresh start into the new week!!



  1. Liebe Silke,

    dein Blog hat mir wiederum viel
    Freude geschenkt.
    Sonnige Grüße

  2. Be true to yourself. You are the only one that matters. Other people's opinions are just that - opinions. They hold no validity. You know yourself. Wipe the slate clean and carry on. (I too was very sensitive and still am at times.)
    Would you be interested in donating your books to a seniors' home instead of the thrift store? I'm sure they would be appreciated.

  3. Glad you're finally giving the finger to some of those stupid old opinions conveyed by others! We should all do more of that -- I know I should.

  4. Silke thanks for sharing with such honesty. I can totally relate! I was just thinking about some of this the other day. When I first discovered art I was convinced that I would paint landscapes, or rather really wanted to paint them. I took a local class with an instructor who was not very kind, brutally honest even and nit picked at my work which was landscape. Since then I have avoided painting them for fear it will never be any good. And I have to wonder why one persons words have affected me so much? I am full of clutter around me as well and wonder why I keep all this stuff! But as you say, the clutter in our minds can be so much more damaging. I am happy to hear you are balking at the voices in your head and are on to bigger and better things! xoxo

  5. A very touching post, Silke!
    And the photos - wow!!! Are you sure these are all natural colours and you did not faff around with filters and such? :-)

  6. Very wise post.... It is sometimes quite amazing when you see the things that you have "hung on to " and taken as truth about your self. Also can be quite shocking when your realize where those beliefs come from. Love your photos too, and so glad to have met you.

  7. Oh my Dear, what a wonderful post. Simply wonderful. Full of the realization of how hurt you have been, in the past. And full of knowing that you can (must) clean out these thoughts/views, etc.

    How many sad things can be done to young people, which can last a life time. If we don't wake up, and notice, and realize... That we are not that person.

    That we are our selves. With all our talents and issues. A delightful bundle of "self-ness." To be embraced, and loved, and nurtured and...



  8. Wow Silke, that could have been me writing this post. How many times have I felt that way. It really is amazing how hard we can be on ourselves. If only we could learn to relax and take ourselves the way we are. Wonderful post.

    Make your day a wonderful one!

  9. I am happy to read that you have risen above the comments and old beliefs and have seen yourself as you want to be seen, living and growing your talents

  10. I like this blog post because I too have felt "judged" and internalized so many passing comments. Then one day I read a quote, "it's none of your business what someone else thinks of you". For some reason (common sense maybe) it all of a sudden became clear to me that it really doesn't matter. I had to think highly of myself and that is what mattered. Funny how we waste time on things we have no control over. Great post, Oma Linda

  11. What a thoughtful post. From the short time I've been following you I felt you showed a strong character and a caring outlook on your surroundings and life itself. I'm so glad you have thrown out the old part of your life and concentrating on the now which is the most important. Who cares what someone else thinks about you ! Your paintings show the inner strength & character you have. I love going on walks with you and Winslow.