In one of the comments, Brenda talked about two things I could relate to you a lot - first being very shy as a child and then living in a culture other than the one you were brought up in.
Both of that is true for me. I used to be very shy and I am still introverted rather than gregarious. And when you are shy, there is one thing you will try to avoid at any cost: standing out. And when you allow your individuality to show, you stand out by nature.
In me that was always a push and pull - I admired those who became themselves fully and embraced their greatness or their genius. There were moments when I could feel that same greatness in me. At the same time I needed to not let my light shine too brightly or I could no longer disappear in the crowd.
With becoming an artist and blogging about that, I have forced myself to come out of hiding. There are days I enjoy that fully and other days when I'd rather go hide again. But the greater part of me knows that it's time for me to fully unfold.
The other part is that I was raised in a society that valued and encouraged conformity. I'm not saying it's bad, but that for an "obedient" girl like me, it had a more profound effect than it would on someone who will do "their own thing" anyway.
Now I live in the US and find this to be a place where I can truly become who I am meant to be. It's still not easy for me to show my unique talents and personality, but here people reinvent themselves all the time and it's ok.
It's normal, in fact. I was just talking with a friend of mine who met a woman who recently retired and now wants to start over. She's moving to Savannah and wants to become an artist working with wood, something totally unrelated to her previous career. I love that!
Part of me envies people who have it all figured out. They know their vocation, their career, who they are, how they want to live their lives. There is such peace in that. Or boredom depending on how much you like what you chose to do.
The bigger part of me, though, is thrilled at my evolving life. It is telling me that it's never too late to become who we came here to be. That it's always a good time for change. That it only matters what I think of my life and that the opinion of others is none of my concern.
That being creative and sharing that is important to the world. That living one's truth and sharing that is more important still.
That all of life is change and it's an illusion for us to think that things stay the same for anyone. That we are all evolving beings trying to find our happy place.
That to love and live with passion is of utmost importance. That outward security is an illusion. The the only true security is to know oneself.
That life is different for each of us and that THAT is of tremendous value. That it is important to support each other in the search for our own self.
That to uplift one is to uplift all! That my life is unfolding perfectly. That happiness is mine NOW. That now is all there is...
And in the spirit of this perfect moment, I wish you an amazing Tuesday filled with love, joy, creativity and many happy surprises.
It is never too late to be what you might have been.
~ George Eliot
❧ Silke
You're absolutely right and that final quotation from George Eliot is perfect! My goodness, Amsterdam is a gorgeous place.
ReplyDeletePerfect quote for your post. You are really in deep thought at the present time. You have a wonderful day too and lovely photos.
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful city and such wonderful old architecture, which I love.
ReplyDeleteRetiring seems to have an effect on re-inventing oneself lol.
I always wanted to learn to paint; but never had the time or money when working,raising a family, etc..
When I moved to Mexico I suddenly had time, and even with not knowing the language well I began to take art classes. I am loving the art I do, not always happy with the results; but enjoy the process. I have sold some pieces and given many to friends and family who wanted me to do something for them.
I am loving retirement and doing something I always wanted to do.
Here is the link to some of my artwork if you are interested in seeing it.
http://artbybrenda-brenda.blogspot.mx/p/my-art-at-glance.html
People who have it all figured out can have a tendency to be somewhat narrow-minded... and life teaches us all the time that we can never really figure it out completely, there will always be the surprise element - sometimes good, sometimes bad.
ReplyDeleteThe very sudden death of my husband four years ago taught me a lot, and that event has changed my life for the better, even if that may sound strange.
I really have wanted to see Amsterdam since I read "The Diary of Anne Frank" as a child.
ReplyDeleteYour photos here and from your post before are FANTASTIC!
So happy that you shared them with us!