Blog Anniversary and A Visit to Atlanta, Part 3

Eight years ago today I started not just blogging but my creative journey. I started painting and blogging at the same time and I am still going strong! My blogging has lessened and the time I spend on painting dramatically increased.

I remember in the beginning making a little time each day to be creative and now it has become not only my passion but my profession. In some ways it seems like a miracle and in others I know it's because I started and never stopped. A lot of it is just showing up and painting.

In those eight years, I have finished hundreds of paintings, I've gotten published in an art book, painted many commissions (which I love doing), had my art in three group shows and had a big joint exhibit with Daniel. For the future I see much more of the same and I want to add teaching to the mix.

But all those accomplishments are just a by-product.

The real reason why I keep painting is this: by nature, I am a worry wart. I can't remember a time when I was not.

And going into menopause has made it much worse for me. I can live with it, but the only thing that really stops it is when I get out of my head. And painting does that for me.

When I paint, I am in the flow. I think of nothing. I worry about nothing. I don't try to figure anything out.

When I paint, I am fully present. When I paint, I feel the color. And the only thing I do is to follow each step in my painting to the next without a plan.

It is difficult to express something in writing that happens in the space beyond words. When I paint, the world makes sense to me. I feel connected to everything.

I never plan my paintings aside from the layout in a few cases. I don't plan the colors, I have no idea of the subject in most of my paintings, and even if I see the finished painting in my mind before I start, I still surrender to the process and allow it to lead me.

I think that's why I love each one of my paintings and have never had to deal with the inner critic. I know that my analytical, planning, critical worry wart of a mind is not in charge when I paint.

Rather it is that part of me that knows it is connected to everything, that can see beauty in all, that knows that mistakes don't exist and that loves the process even more than the end result.

All those things we define as success with being an artist are definitely secondary to why I paint. I am grateful that people love my art. Yet I know that even if I were the only one who loved it I would still keep on painting.

And on this anniversary of my blog I am extra grateful for all of you who have accompanied me on this journey! Here's to many more years together...

❧ Silke
P.S. The photos are from the gardens around Swan House (see my last post) at the Atlanta History Center.