Friday, April 8, 2011

I am humbled...

... by your comments and your support on my last blog post. Truly - you are amazing and these flowers are for you!! Some of your comments were pure inspiration for me, some felt like a big hug and all of them made me smile and feel so lucky to be part of this incredible community!
I've had some questions on my last post as to why now and how I made that decision. It's been percolating for a while, but I think it was a conversation I had with my sister, Caroline, that brought it all to the forefront. We were talking about getting older...
I am turning 45 this year, and don't get me wrong I love being in my 40's - there's something very liberating about that. However, I am reminded more and more that my mother was only 48 when she died and Daniel's mother was also in her late 40's when she passed away.

I am not expecting the same to happen to me, but it does remind me of the finite amount of time we have in our physical bodies and it brought up the question for me: "When are you going to live the life you were meant to live ... fully and without apologies?"

The answer: "If not now, then when?"

It is incredibly hard for me to allow the world to see the "other side of Silke." It's not that it's so different (there are thousands of people interested in the bigger and hidden meaning of life - like me), but I've tried so hard to be "normal," that it's going to take a while!

However ... I can already feel the power that comes with making a decision - and declaring it publicly! It carries it's own momentum and today feels like a fresh new day!!

Wishing you a most wonderful and magical Friday!! I am off to marinate some chicken for grilling later tonight and then to make some art!

P.S. Tomorrow, I'm going to have a treasury to share with you and more...


  1. 45!!!

    Dang, girl, you are, try 50 or 60. You will feel ancient and decripit then.

    Thank goodness, I am forever 29.

  2. By the way, we can never tell what the future holds for us. Life is full of surprises. I like to think that when I die, no matter when, I have done whatever I was given to do or at least started, that I don't take my skills and talents with me to heaven, no one needs them there. I can't imagine trying to impress God with my skills. People are more fun, they scream from joy...or disgust. Hahahah!

  3. Oh wait, what if I am going to hell? Hmn...

  4. silke, part of me doesn't understand why you would be embarrassed by the 'other side of silke' and part of me does. i read tarot cards and believe in karma and know the line between living and dying is a thin one and i try to keep my chakras open. i'll be damned if someone thinks i'm flaky because of that because i also know i am kind and solid where it counts most.

    i think you are giving yourself permission to stop weighing if this or that is okay for you to be and to let it be known. YAY! 50 pounds of cement lifted right there!

    our willingness to be vulnerable is one of the best parts of sharing it. because you are being the pied piper telling others it's not just okay, it's authentic!

    double yay :^)

  5. One of the many joys of getting older is that we care less what others think of us. I'm glad you are reaching this point and coming into your own. It is difficult to break old patterns but you can do it and it is so freeing.

  6. I too am very grateful to be part of this wonderful blogging community. I have gained so much insight and inspiration from people like you! You know, I was just wondering if you have read "The Artist's Way" by Julia Cameron? This is the book that really started me on the journey to be my most authentic self! And I have been in an Artist's Way group that meets once a week for the last 6 years. We have read many other books by other authors as well but, Julia seems to say it all the best. She really seems to get inside your head! Anyway, just wondered!!

  7. Silke I misssed yesterday's post...and am happy to see that you have been liberated and feel the strength to DO as you are doing...
    You GIVE each and every day when you write on your blog or when you paint...
    I love visiting here.
    HUGS to you my friend.

  8. I agree with lilylovekin -- one of the secrets of middle age (that people don't really talk about) is that we tend to get to a point where we don't give a s*** what others think. It is so liberating! I think many women really come into their own at this stage of life. I'll admit I'd love to have my 20-something body back, but other than that, I would not go backwards to a younger age for anything. The 50's are the most aware times of my life, and now more than ever, I really like who I've become. Take it from me -- there's lots to look forward to!

  9. Silke, *normal* is just another word for *BORING*.
    You certainly don't fit the latter category!! ;-D
    But letting go of the things we have had instilled in us most of our lives is a little harder than it sounds, so you'll have *me* to remind you that! LOL!
    The 40's are GOOD YEARS. It is a time to slough off everything you don't need and truly embrace what you want! Life gets better with the freedom you invite in.
    You go girl.....

    Anne....Wild Woman at large.....

  10. I love that - "When are you going to live the life you were meant to live ... fully and without apologies?"

    Can I borrow this from you? You have so inspired me Silke!

  11. Liebe Silke,

    vor dem Schlafengehen kommen von uns beiden
    noch herzliche Grüße

    Angela und Elisabeth

  12. Silke, Your post is a revelation to you, but it's always hard for me to see people talk about 'not being themselves'. I went through a childhood where I was not myself. I had to hide and be careful about what I said and how I was seen at every turn. Once I started to study the Bible and examine my life versus the life God had for me...everything changed!! I'm full of answers now. Fully myself. And unafraid of what's ahead. I would love to discuss it with you at any time!...and F.Y.I., in your 40s is when your revelations come I think. It's like you wake up and realize: "Wait a minute! What about me?!" LOL I'm in my 50s now...Life is even better...mentally. The body does whatever it wants! ^_^ Stay on your path to openly get answers. They'll come. Keep your eyes and ears open, and your mind always on alert!

  13. Well, Silke, we all loved you before yesterday's post and we all still love you, possibly even more. I just read all the comments you received. It seems we all have so much in common... feelings...thoughts....questions....desires. I always love it when a person lays out the truths they feel and I see so much of what I'm feeling in their words.
    It is well to remember, also, that true friends accept you for everything you are, not for what they want you to be.
    You are in your 40s ~ very exciting years ~ good years ~ fulfilling years. The best is yet to come!!
    So happy to have met you, Silke. This blog world is wonderful.
    ♥ audrey

  14. Big hugs, Silke. I'm glad that the comments and support of friends have made your stronger. :) Never feel shy about sharing your soul. But listen to me, I am one to talk. I rarely share "innermost" thoughts or secrets about myself. Maybe I should start... xoxo Theresa

  15. You are right - when, if not now...
    Have to go think about that...

  16. Silke, you are young! I am ten years older than you and I think about this stuff all the time!
    I want to quit all my jobs and just do art, I am not brave enough, fear of living in my car :-).
    But we do what we can and you are on your way to living your true self. I am right her with you. Bravo.xoxo

  17. Silke - I understand why you found yourself vasilating over how to approach your talents - I think that none of us have the self confidence that we should have - OR deserve to have. Having said that - I am glad that you have worked this out in your own mind - and I admire you greatly for doing so.

    You ARE immensely talented - and so is your guy! You are an artist in every sense of the world. You often have said that you have to motivate yourself to create - well, don't we all. You can whip out a beautiful painting in a days time - that is amazing talent my friend. Your paintings have personality - each beautiful lady seems to show true emotion - how DO you do that?

    Don't sell yourself short - you belong in a league with the best of them.Perhaps where you excell - (and others often do not) is that not only do you create beautiful and original works of art with great talent - but you are a truly beautiful person both inside and out.

    You can hire me to be your cheerleader any time - I work for free.