Friday, August 28, 2015

Reflections

I took all these photos at the Chihuly Museum in Seattle this summer. It was spectacular! 

I can't believe that our summer is almost over. Daniel starts teaching again in another two weeks and already our days are getting busier with things that need to get done.
During our summer we painted, we read, we relaxed went to the movies, met up with friends, celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary and traveled to Seattle to see some wonderful friends. We enjoyed every minute of it.
We also made plans to do a few renovations on the house and were getting busy with the prep work after we got back from Seattle when one of our pine trees close to the house was hit by lightening.
The lightning jumped to our outdoor spotlight and from there through some of the electrical wires into the house. We and our pets are all fine, although we were all shaken from the loud bang. And we lost quite a few appliances and electronics despite surge protectors, which need to be replaced.
But that's the ebb and flow of life - periods of free time to relax followed by busy times that keep us hopping. With everything we have going on this fall, we'll have to block out some time each week to relax and recharge.
Well, speaking of the ebb and flow of life.... lately I've been reflecting quite a bit on this next phase of my life I am entering: peri-menopause (sorry to any guys reading this. TMI, I know!). And while I kind of thought it would all be happening in my body, there's a lot going on in my mind, and my emotions are all over the place.
I'm definitely feeling this transition. It's sort of like going through puberty again (right down to the the increase of pimples in my face), but puberty was accompanied by great anticipation of being grown up and independent, with all the dreams of the young.
This now feels much calmer. In so many ways I have the life I have dreamed of. And I still feel anticipation of all this next phase will bring. At the same time I'm feeling just a little unsteady - not quite here anymore and not quite there yet.
There are days I feel confident and full of energy and others when I cannot find my place at all. I don't feel old, but I'm also not young anymore.
My body is changing, which I have trouble adjusting to. I used to be rail thin and skinny and now I am suddenly curvy. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but somehow I got it in my head that - for me - skinny is good and curvy is not. I know that's total nonsense, but it wormed itself into my thinking and it's taking me a long time to learn to be kind to my changing body and to still see it as beautiful.
I always thought that I would not ever have a problem with getting older, but... that was when I was young. When you are young you can't see things from an older person's perspective. But I do now. And while I have no regrets whatsoever about the choices I have made in life so far, and while I love my life right now, I still have to adjust to this new version of myself.
So, last night when everything felt a little chaotic with all the things we have going on right now around the house and life in general, I was wondering what I could use as an anchor of sorts. Painting has become sporadic and that won't change for the next few weeks. And then it occurred to me: my blog! I need to write again. I need to share. I need to go through my day and take photos that I'd love to put in my blog. I need to document this transition time for myself. I need to write! For me!

And if you are here reading what I write, even better!!

With much love and gratitude,

Silke

6 comments:

  1. Your photos from the museum are just fabulous!! So beautiful! I turned 70 this year--that was the "old" birthday for me--up until now I didn't think I was old--the anticipation of 70 was quite traumatic, but when it actually came--not much difference--a few more aches and pains, and the realization that there is not so much time left...sobering..those few extra pounds just happen--I was always tall and thin--no weight problems and comparatively speaking, I am still tall an not quite as thin--just keep moving every day--you have a great life and love and talent--you will be just fine!!

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  2. Yes, going through menopause is as big a physical and emotional transition as going through adolescence. Hang on -- it will be a bumpy ride! I say this from the other side, the other shore. All will be well but it's quite the experience, LOL!

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  3. Those photos are so beautiful! Sounds like your summer has been great (exception of the lightning strike). I'm happy to see you back to blogging and look forward to reading.
    blessings
    ~*~

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  4. Thankyou for writing about this unspoken transition we go through. I'm almost through the other side and I've found that art can help tame the giant and unexpected emotions. These are gorgeous images by the way!xx

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  5. I really found the time BEFORE menopause more difficult than menopause itself. So hang in there, honey!
    That lightning must have been scary! Glad you are okay!
    I really love the art that you are showing us from the Chihuly Museum, the colors! Wow, so beautiful.
    And may I say, I am glad that you have decided that you need to write on your blog because I love to read what you write on your posts! Very happy to see you back! :-)

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  6. Welcome back dear Silke! You made amazing photos from all this lovely colored glass objects. The reflection photo looks so good. Wish you a nice and creative autumn.
    Greetings
    Sabine

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